Discover the 3 keys to detect if you need couples therapy
There are innumerable triggers for which it’s necessary to consider the need to start a couple therapy: routine, constant disagreements, infidelities, lack of physical attraction, lack of time, changes in the ways of being… however, if we spin fine, all these factors can be reduced to three basic reasons:
- Lack of communication
- Lack of desire
- Lack of trust
What is couples therapy?
Couples therapy, led by a professional in psychology, is one of the simplest ways to solve the small imbalances of a relationship before they become difficult to solve problems.
However, the most common is that due to the versatility of any human relationship, quite complex situations appear. A circumstance that at a certain moment seems serious and unrecoverable, is suddenly compensated by a beautiful experience that totally changes the perception of the relationship.
There are couples, for example, in which one of its components thinks it’s time to break the relationship and the other has not raised this need even remotely. At other times, a temporary break causes harshness and in a short time, everything returns to normal. This is how simple and complex couples are.
These continuous variables in a relationship lead us to consider at some point the following question: how to know when we need to attend a couple’s therapy?
Does couples therapy work?
Like everything that is related to psychology, couples therapy will work to the extent that both parties are willing to do their part to solve their problems.
Attending therapy sessions can be immensely enriching, as topics that never arose before will appear and ways to deal with them with unusual sincerity. Each one will find the space to raise their point of view with respect and honesty.
Erotic massage can help to understand each part in the marriage.
When the problem is related to sexuality, it’s especially difficult to break the ice. Therefore, a joint therapy will help you to get out that affectivity that you are ashamed to begin to demonstrate again. The caresses, hugs and return to look each other in the eyes, for example, are behaviours that once lost costs a lot to recover.
In short, couples therapy is for those who don’t want to break the relationship, but have the will to re-channel it, because the neutral vision of a professional and their experience, will provide them with tools to express themselves and will give them the adequate space to open up to each other.
Do you dare to answer these questions?
Next we will pose a series of questions framed in the three main keys mentioned at the beginning. If you answer affirmatively to one or more, very possibly you need a therapy with your partner.
Lack of communication
Do you feel lonely even when you are in a couple?
Do you often sleep side by side without resolving previous anger?
Do you usually talk more about your day to day with friends or colleagues than with your partner?
Has a loved one died and the pain allows us to talk about it?
Lack of desire
Is sex no longer pleasant?
Have you lost sexual desire completely?
Has intimacy and caresses disappeared?
Lack of trust
Do you only see your partner’s defects and vice versa?
Do you feel that you are no longer you when you are with your partner?
Do you lie or lie to you?
Are either or both of you jealous of everything, including mobile messages?
Finally, you should know that there are other causes much more serious, in which love and respect has been permanently lost.
When the only thing that unites you are the children.
When one of the two makes feel inferior to the other and despises it conscientiously.
When one of the members insults or hits.
These situations are not solved with therapy but should force to consider another type of more forceful help, which goes from breaking the relationship to reporting abuses.
And you, have you ever gone to couple’s therapy? Have you been useful?
You can also read another of our articles about dyspareunia in relationship problems.